Understanding the emotions behind your behavioral patterns

A Quick Guide

All people have different ways of dealing with their emotions. While some ways are healthy, others are harmful and not effective in regulating emotions. To become more emotionally aware, it is integral that you start to be more aware of your own behavioral patterns when it comes to dealing with emotions.

The emotions underlying your behavioral patterns

Notice that each of your self-defeating habits is actually linked to an underlying emotion and thought. For example, activities like smoking, substance use, drinking alcohol, overeating, etc. are all linked to a particular feeling.

For instance, when you first started overeating, maybe it was to avoid feeling upset. It could be that you weren’t hungry but the need to avoid feeling negative emotions dominated you. With time, you developed a habit. So, whenever you wanted to deal with negative emotions, you turned to food for comfort. Similarly, some people eat more when they are anxious or stressed, or depressed. Whereas others turn to it when they are happy and so on. So the exact emotional reason may vary across individuals.

Identify the emotional triggers of your behavioral patterns

Imagine if you are able to identify these feelings that trigger such behavioral patterns, you could understand why you behave the way you do. Consequently, this may help you to modify these destructive habits and form alternate and healthy habits.

Is awareness of emotions enough to change behavioral patterns?

It must be mentioned that just being aware of the emotional reasons is not enough to change your self-defeating habits. You spend a great deal of time developing these habits. Even your body gets used to it. As a result, it is hard to let go of them. In other words, you feel more at ease with the habits you know even if they are self-destructive. Rather than trying out new & unknown behaviors.

Why do the self-destructive behavioral patterns continue?

The self-destructive patterns become a part of you. Such that anytime, the triggering negative emotions manifest, you immediately turn to these safety behaviors. Whereas any attempt to stop or reduce them brings up even more anxiety. Initially, when you are in the process of developing these self-defeating habits, you have higher control. Whereas, later on, these behaviors control you. Gradually, your tolerance for performing the safety behaviors increases as well e.g. wanting more food to reduce the same level of anxiety or more drugs or more alcohol, etc.

Are your behavioral patterns always apparent?

It is not necessary that everyone has extreme negative habits as stated above. These can be subtle and less noticeable as well. For example, a socially anxious individual may prefer to order food online to avoid talking on the phone. Or choose to do the written work in group assignments to avoid presenting. Similarly, a person scared of being alone may keep the TV turned on in his/her house to feel less lonely. Or someone scared of being happy automatically assumes the worst possible situations to prepare for any disappointment that follows etc.

Identify your behavioral patterns

Try to notice your own behavioral patterns by asking yourself these questions.

• Do you behave in a specific way to avoid feeling a specific emotion?
• Can you change that feeling?
• Are you consciously aware of the feeling or do you just perform the behavior while being on auto mode?
• If you deal with the feeling in a different way, will you be able to behave differently too?

Link the underlying emotions with your behavioral patterns. Being emotionally aware is the first step to managing or regulating your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

We hope you found this article useful in understanding the emotions behind your behavioral patterns. To learn more about emotional awareness, check out our other article: How To Become Aware Of Your Emotions.