How to let go of negative emotions & thoughts using mindfulness

A Quick Guide

Letting go of painful emotions and thoughts can be challenging, but mindfulness can help. By observing and accepting our emotions and thoughts without judgment, we gradually weaken their hold on us. Through a mindfulness meditation exercise, we can identify tension in our body, acknowledge our emotions, trace their origins, and ultimately work towards letting go. It’s a process that takes time and practice, but it can lead to greater emotional freedom.

Introduction

Have you ever experienced an incident that hurt you? angered you? disappointed you and you just can’t let go of those painful emotions and thoughts? For example, someone said something to you years ago and you can’t seem to forgive him/her. Or it could be something recent and you find yourself constantly thinking about it. In such situations, you observe that your mind just goes on and on about it. Your thoughts continue to build up on top of each other. Your emotions become more intense. You feel worse by the minute. Even though you know this is not healthy for you, you find that you cannot stop this despite your best efforts.

Rest assured. This is completely normal and happens to a lot of individuals. We have experiences that are emotionally overbearing and hard to process. It takes time for us to make sense of them and adjust to them. Even though we want to rush through the process and just ‘fix things’, reality doesn’t work like that.

Shamash Alidina describes this dilemma beautifully in his book through an example. He says, Imagine I tell you to hold a glass of water completely still. You will try very hard to do so but despite that, the water would still move. The harder you try, the more it will shake and the more you will worry about it being still. So, the best strategy is to let go and put the glass down. The water would stop moving and be still this way too.  Just like that, we can learn to let go of things that bother us. It is easier said than done but once you learn the art of it with consistent practice, it becomes smoother and simpler.

Learn more about: How Being Mindful Can Benefit You? 

Mindfulness – The art of letting go

Mindfulness is one strategy that incorporates this idea. Through this, we can learn to let go of our distressing emotions, thoughts, sensations, ideas, and opinions. This is done during a state of heightened internal awareness where we observe them, explore them, and gradually let go of them. Such that their hold and effect on us slowly weakens.  

How to let go

• Learning to let go isn’t a behavior or action that you just do. It’s a process. You have to stop the active conscious effort of letting go. In short, stop the ‘doing’ and let yourself be free from the pressure of doing the letting go.
• The most important thing here is to first identify and accept that you are holding on to something. If you are aware of it, you have already taken the first step.
• Next, be willing to observe and explore your emotions and thoughts as they are. Acknowledge them and accept them. Validate your feelings yourself instead of relying on someone else to do it for you.
• Notice the tension you are carrying in your mind and body due to this. Also, see the negative impact this has had on different areas of your life.
• Once you do all of that, you will gradually be able to ease your hold and slowly let go.

Mindfulness meditation exercise on how to Let go

A short meditation exercise that you can practice to let go is stated as follows:

1. Find a relaxed position. Sit or lie down in a comfortable place where there are no distractions. Ensure, the environment is quiet. Gently close your eyes.
2. At the moment, notice your body. Try to identify if there is tension in any body part. Is any part heavy or moving excessively? Do you feel stiff? As soon as you notice the tension, what happens to it? Does it go away when you let go of your muscles or stay there?
3. Notice your emotions in the current moment. What do you feel? Try to label the emotions. Are you sad? Hurt? Angry? Disappointed?. How intense is this feeling? Do not try to change your emotions or judge yourself for feeling this way. Acknowledge it i.e. Just be aware of it and allow the feeling to stay there. The more you try to rush it to go away or avoid it, the longer it will stay. Try to be okay with its presence if it wants to linger on.
4. Trace where the feeling is coming from. Notice your thoughts and give words to them in your mind. Verbalize the details without changing, judging, or masking anything. Accept them as they are.  
5. Take deep breaths throughout this process. At the end of the meditation, review what you have found out. Are you holding on to any emotions or thoughts? Do you feel ready to let go or do you still need time? Trust yourself and whatever you decide to do.

Remember, do not judge yourself if you can’t let go after doing this exercise. Some people take a longer time to process the underlying unresolved emotions and thoughts. You can always return to this exercise if you feel the need and repeat it every now and then. When you are ready, you will have to let go of the painful emotions and thoughts without even being aware of them. Good luck 😊

To learn more about mindfulness and its applications, check out the related articles.